Once again, I’m getting married March 28th and it is interesting to hear some of the questions that people ask me about this up and coming event. How is the wedding planning going? Where are you going to live? Is your wife going to work? How long was the engagement? And the list goes on, but there is one question that has been bothering me. Actually, it has got me quite angry to the point where I am going to punch the next person who asks it, even if its a girl, jk, not that angry. The question is “Are you going to use birth control?” Or some form of that question.
This question most often comes from Christians given the obvious assumption that the Bible teaches that sex before marriage is rebellion against the Creator. Those that ask the question know that sex will begin to happen when I get married, thank you Jesus! But they also know that when you have sex, you get babies, unless you do something to “control” God’s design. Well, if you’re wondering what me and my wonderful fiance, Audrey, are planning to do about this it is to control the birth by doing everything we can to make sure a birth occurs!
I have thought a lot about all this, more than most people “Christian” I think. I don’t mean that in a prideful way, but when I respond to them, they seem to look pretty foolish from my perspective. The other day I heard a great discussion about this topic on Dr. Albert Mohler’s Radio program. Dr. Russell Moore, Dean of the School of Theology at Southern was filling in for him and the title of the show was “Encouraging the Blessing of Children.” Here is description of the show:
Do Christians view children and families as a blessing from the Lord? Or have we, like the culture around us, bought into the idea that children are just another ‘lifestyle option’ for married couples? On today’s program, guest host Russell Moore welcomes Steve Watters to the program. Steve and Candice Watters are the authors of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies.
I would challenge you to listen to it, since both of the men on the program at one time did not see things they way they do now. They share some of their previous reasoning and shame. I would also love to know what you think about this issue. I’ll be honest I have been “warned” and encouraged not to have children right away by almost every Christian whom I have spoken with. Do you think I’m crazy too? Do you think I’m getting of the narrow path?
February 5, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Oh brother, do we need to talk…
…about how much we agree.
We seem to be in much the same boat. My fiancee and I recently got engaged on January 6th and those same questions (and commentary) came rushing in:
“You do know where babies come from, don’t you?” – implying also that we know how to stop them
“Take a while to get to know each other before trying to start a family” – the irony there is thick
“I think it’s alright for you to get married in seminary, just don’t have any children yet.”
“You wanna what!?”
It is a shame, and I’d even venture to say it is a sad commentary on the testimony of Christian families, that it has become counter-cultural today (even within “evangelicalism”) to reject contraception as a side-kick to marriage. We have been awashed in a sea of child-fear and financial comfort (even, as Dr. Moore preached this morning, of self provision).
I for one commend y’all in your decision and encourage you to demonstrate by your marriage and your sex that God is sovereign, He is good, and His gift of children are a blessing (always and everytime).
‘BH
February 5, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Hank, I was thinking the same thing as I heard the message in chapel. This was the main application that came to my mind among a few others.
I also want to encourage you brother to continue on that path in the strength of the Lord and I will also pray that God will bless you and your bride to be.
I think there are many girls out there as well who are disappointed that the men in their lives aren’t willing to step up and be men so they can “truly” be the women God has designed them to be.
He is risen,
Ricky
March 7, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Hurray,more grandchildren! I can’t wait.
March 25, 2009 at 9:51 am
Ha Ha
I’ll see what I can do!